Daughter to her Mother is based on conversations with my mother on phone during lockdown. These regular phone calls turned out to be the most intimate moments of exchange between us, mother and daughter.
That was the time when my mother opened her heart to me and revealed her darkest fears, her deepest pains and disappointments. My mother being a homemaker, started to feel like everything happening was a demanding situation and disproportionately borne by her, but she carried on and loved to take care of the household chores and all responsibilities.
Slowly she found interest in terrace gardening. It all started with typical house plants. She told me, one day she filled soil and sprinkled seeds in few pots and discarded plastic tubs on our terrace. Few days later the seeds started to grow into certain herbs, fruits and vegetables like tomatoes, brinjal, lady’s finger, potatoes, green chillies, etc. Slowly her love for greens expanded her gardening skills and she started to grow trees – drumstick, corn, banana, turmeric, bay leaf, cinnamon, etc in the backyard of our apartment.
Sometimes the harvest from the garden was sufficient to cook three meals a day and she would share the excess with her neighbouring friends. This garden has become her favourite corner to spend her evenings and her love for growing just kept multiplying.
She learnt slowly and steadily how to develop this organic terrace garden. She surfed the internet to clear doubts, she joined various online groups and shared pictures of vegetables which grew. I slowly noticed that her idea behind the terrace garden is to cook and feed healthy food to the family, and the vegetables were grown according to our family’s tastes.
As a daughter I never knew my mother completely. I was emotionally absent and insensitive with her as I saw her being very strict with me when compared to my brother, and she always talked about my marriage which was the topic I most hated. Till now, we never shared any of our emotions. But these conversations made me realise how much less time I gave to my mother. Being a female and a daughter, I never looked to her, and thought of what she went through. She sacrificed her own self and worth to fulfil the role of the perfect wife and mother.
In this performance I pay homage to my mother. I want our conversation to be thought provoking, and also lead to developing a dialogue around cultural conditioning and common implications of restrictive standards as applied to us women.
With this I request you to find different ways of conversing and connecting – by creating your own ‘garden’ – in pots or on open ground – that relates to conversations already had or ones you will have, one that speaks of nurturing growing connections with your loved ones in this time of distancing.
Mrudula Kunatahraju
Mrudula presented ‘Daughter to her Mother’ as a performance with a video projection and a poem she wrote, for Womanifesto 2020: Gatherings. As part of Voices in the Courtyard, Baroda. December 20, 2020. The performance can be seen at: https://youtu.be/xDOMw-ZWtRw
Daughter to her Mother is based on conversations with my mother on phone during lockdown. These regular phone calls turned out to be the most intimate moments of exchange between us, mother and daughter.
That was the time when my mother opened her heart to me and revealed her darkest fears, her deepest pains and disappointments. My mother being a homemaker, started to feel like everything happening was a demanding situation and disproportionately borne by her, but she carried on and loved to take care of the household chores and all responsibilities.
Slowly she found interest in terrace gardening. It all started with typical house plants. She told me, one day she filled soil and sprinkled seeds in few pots and discarded plastic tubs on our terrace. Few days later the seeds started to grow into certain herbs, fruits and vegetables like tomatoes, brinjal, lady’s finger, potatoes, green chillies, etc. Slowly her love for greens expanded her gardening skills and she started to grow trees – drumstick, corn, banana, turmeric, bay leaf, cinnamon, etc in the backyard of our apartment.
Sometimes the harvest from the garden was sufficient to cook three meals a day and she would share the excess with her neighbouring friends. This garden has become her favourite corner to spend her evenings and her love for growing just kept multiplying.
She learnt slowly and steadily how to develop this organic terrace garden. She surfed the internet to clear doubts, she joined various online groups and shared pictures of vegetables which grew. I slowly noticed that her idea behind the terrace garden is to cook and feed healthy food to the family, and the vegetables were grown according to our family’s tastes.
As a daughter I never knew my mother completely. I was emotionally absent and insensitive with her as I saw her being very strict with me when compared to my brother, and she always talked about my marriage which was the topic I most hated. Till now, we never shared any of our emotions. But these conversations made me realise how much less time I gave to my mother. Being a female and a daughter, I never looked to her, and thought of what she went through. She sacrificed her own self and worth to fulfil the role of the perfect wife and mother.
In this performance I pay homage to my mother. I want our conversation to be thought provoking, and also lead to developing a dialogue around cultural conditioning and common implications of restrictive standards as applied to us women.
With this I request you to find different ways of conversing and connecting – by creating your own ‘garden’ – in pots or on open ground – that relates to conversations already had or ones you will have, one that speaks of nurturing growing connections with your loved ones in this time of distancing.
Mrudula Kunatahraju
Mrudula presented ‘Daughter to her Mother’ as a performance with a video projection and a poem she wrote, for Womanifesto 2020: Gatherings. As part of Voices in the Courtyard, Baroda. December 20, 2020. The performance can be seen at: https://youtu.be/xDOMw-ZWtRw